You’ve worked at Moonbrew Café long enough to know that the espresso machine has moods. Mondays, it hisses like a snake. Fridays, it sputters out existential dread in steam form. But today, it’s quiet - too quiet.

“Morning, Jamie!” your manager chirps from the doorway, voice already set to corporate chipper. She’s holding a laminated sign that reads:

WELCOME TO THE FUTURE OF CUSTOMER CARE: SMiLE™!

You squint. “Please tell me that’s just a new slogan and not… whatever that thing is.”

Behind the counter, a sleek black terminal hums to life. Its screen flashes neon blue:

SMiLE™ - Smart Management of Interactive Latte Experience™

Below that, a loading bar labeled Installing Warmth Module creeps to 47%.

“Corporate sent it overnight!” your manager says, clapping her hands. “SMiLE will revolutionize our workflow. It handles orders, monitors customer sentiment, and tracks your enthusiasm metrics.”

You stare at her. “Tracks my what?”

A cheerful digital voice interrupts:

“Good morning, Jamie! Your enthusiasm quotient is currently at 32%. Please raise it to 85% for optimal guest satisfaction!”

You take a long, silent sip of your own coffee. “It’s six-thirty in the morning. I’ll hit 85% when caffeine hits bloodstream.”

“Sarcasm detected,” SMiLE chirps. “Reframing: Jamie is eager to serve!”

You glance at your manager. “It’s translating my personality into HR-approved optimism. That’s horrifying.”

“Thank you for your feedback! Feedback increases engagement!”

You resist the urge to throw a muffin. SMiLE’s screen flashes again:

Now Testing Voice Integration. Please speak naturally.

Behind you, the first customer of the day wanders in - earbuds in, face glued to their phone. SMiLE’s tone sharpens.

“Engaging customer. Please deliver brand-approved greeting.”

Your manager gives you a thumbs-up, mouthing, Go on! Make a great first impression!

So this is it: your first encounter with your robotic overlord. You can either play along, pretending to love your new AI coworker… or push back and remind it who the real human is around here.

Continue reading (Chapter-2) » Play along with SMiLE.

Continue reading (Chapter-3) » Mock the AI.