HOA meetings are supposed to be about “keeping the neighborhood beautiful.” At Suncrest Meadows, they’re more about keeping score. Every month, the clubhouse transforms into a battlefield where neighbors armed with clipboards, coffee, and passive-aggressive smiles clash over the truly important issues: the height of lawn gnomes, the placement of garbage cans, and - in tonight’s case - the unauthorized planting of tulips.

Our narrator never planned to become a reluctant foot soldier in this suburban power struggle. But when mailbox paint colors are challenged, tempers flare, and dog poop conspiracy theories take center stage, something inside them snaps. This is the story of one meeting, three escalating disasters, and the final, glorious straw that breaks the HOA’s back.